“Judge not, that ye be not judged” Mathew 7:1
Seems simple enough … yet feels impossible to not do. In my last blog “With Eyes Wide Open” I announced to the world that I am a healer, a SEER, working towards Prophecy. My youngest daughter looked at me with a grin on her face and said “well you just came in like a wreaking ball!” I love the realness in my children to tell things like they are, without the need to try and sugar coat everything.
In my 43 years, I have used a lot of sugar! If you told me something was “bad” or “negative” I would try my hardest to find the silver lining. I could take the most difficult of situations and tell myself that it’s not that bad .. everything will be ok. My ability to try to find the beauty in life and in people has served me well and I am grateful for this gift of sight that allows me to see beyond the shadows and focus on the light inside. However, sometimes one has to be ok with not being ok! There are times in life where you really have to allow yourself to just sit in the emotion and feel through the heartache, grief, trauma, and hurt. These experiences you are having are very real and if you try to sugar coat them and sweep it under the rug, eventually you will not be able to purchase a big enough rug, room or house to contain it. When that happens … just like my grand announcement to the world .. you will find the suppressed emotion “coming in like a wreaking ball!”
As humans, we are meant to “feel” and allow ourselves to truly experience life. Yet because we judge everything as “good” or “bad”, we try to hide everything that we consider to not portray us as our best to others. We are so fearful of letting others know that we are hurting, lost, pissed off, and truly just want to take a time out and desperately need another human to hold us without judgement while we ride through the intensity of emotion. Emotions are like the roll coaster of life with various ups, downs, twists and turns. Life is pretty mundane and zombie like if the roller coaster just moves steadily forward on an even track .. coasting … surviving … suffocating! Its time to get real and stop pretending that everything is ok .. that we are ok.
I have come to understand that judgement is everywhere and accept that it is a normal human emotion we all experience, no matter how positive we claim to be. Judgement provides us with an opportunity to examine our perspective and then in our new awareness, step further back and look again from a higher vantage point to see past the narrow mindedness of the situation we were in. I found myself in a very humbling experience right before Christmas that truly caused me to pause and look at the way I was judging others.
Walking into Tim Hortons with my youngest daughter, I notice the “homeless” man sitting near the entrance way holding up a cardboard sign humbly asking for spare change. I have always told my children to have compassion for others, and certainly had been convincing myself that I was a kind, caring, positive person .. but yet here I was being reminded of all the times I had seen another human in what I perceive as their suffering and had turned an eye, looking away – both unsure and unwilling to help. I was getting out the sugar and convincing myself that I can not give money because that would be feeding the addiction that “these people” must surely have. I would therefore “save them” by refusing to contribute and could just turn my head and pretend the “problem” didn’t exist. OUCH!
With this awareness, I started to listen to my higher self and was going through the internal dialogue of .. well maybe I could bring this man a meal, that way I was helping but yet not feeding his “addiction”. Thank goodness my higher power can break through my narrow mindedness, and all I could hear as I scanned the menu in front of me was “How do you know that he is hungry? How do you know what he likes to eat? Why would you bring him a meal to eat in the cold instead of providing a gift of warmth? Why would you treat this man as less deserving then yourself! OUCH! I was the ultimate judger .. and as a pulled out a $20 bill I knew that I had to gift this man on my way out and let him choose how he was going to spend the money because its his life and his choice. I handed the money over to the gentleman explaining that I was going to buy him a meal but decided that he may wish to get out of the rain, warm up and purchase his own. He looked at me, thanking me for my kindness and as he grabbed his bag stated that he was now able to go across the street to the laundry mat and wash his clothes as everything he owned was soaked. I was completely humbled in this moment and in my new awareness, thankful that this man had gifted me with greater understanding, compassion and respect for others. Truly he has given me a far greater gift than that $20 bill I had handed out.
Life is like that, teaching us constantly to look past our narrow mindedness and examine things from another’s perspective. Not to beat ourselves up, but just to constantly learn, grow, open our eyes and begin to awaken.
Lots of Love,
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