Yesterday I had to go chase waterfalls. Regardless of the song by TLC and the words of caution playing in my mind, “Don’t go chasing waterfalls, please stick to the rivers and the streams that you used to know ..” the call in my heart was just too great.
I’m tired of always staying in the safe lane! Don’t get me wrong, I respect the rules and boundaries established for society in general, but when it comes to my life and “playing it safe”, well that’s just not a place I wish to stay any longer.
I have always assumed the role of the “good girl.” Raised in a family where my father was an RCMP member and highly respected, and a mother who worked as a nurse, with a heart of gold. I was super proud of their dedication to help make this world a safer place, and understand how hard it must have been to bare that responsibility at times.
As a child though, it was tough to follow those rules of “sit up straight, don’t swing your feet, clean your room, chew with your mouth closed, don’t run around, don’t talk back, don’t, don’t, don’t!”
I can chuckle now as an adult, as I clearly picture and hear my “oh I’m so hard done by,” little voice, along with seeing an image of that little girl kicking her feet in frustration.
It’s surprising how the stories we play over and over again in our minds, prevent us from truly seeing the whole picture. That little girl of me, oh she was so feisty and stubborn! She just wanted to explore the world, be outdoors, watch the animals and plants, get dirt on her clothes, and just be free. Her innocent mind was full of curiosity and wonder, and she certainly wasn’t thinking about the importance of all those rules “caging” her in.
Becoming a parent myself, and having daughters certainly opened my eyes to the other side of the story. But truly, it’s almost comical how many times I wanted to be the “victim” in the story instead of looking at the other angles.
I never stopped to consider that maybe I wasn’t allowed to just get dirty because clothes were expensive and we had a tighter budget. I just couldn’t freely wander wherever I wanted to go because the adults in my life held tremendous love for me and knew all to well of the potential dangers lurking out in the world.
A large part of my healing journey, has been to truly sit with all these memories, excuses, and limitations I have created and placed as bars within my own cage. For one thing I have learned to see the truth of is that I have created my cage. No one else.
The bars of the cage have been coming off, slowly and surely as I heal, and that call to chase waterfalls becomes stronger. I’m ready to move off those paths and patterns that I have followed in zombie mode, because that’s the safe zone.
I’m ready to take risks! Explore life, push through those boundaries holding me back to see what lies in store when I just believe and have faith to try. I’m ready to chase waterfalls because of all the beautiful lessons and people in my life who have taught me to look at the “what if’s” the potential dangers, to consider multiple angles, and then to choose wisely.
I can stand confidently with my feet anchored to the ground and look up at the potential, see the beauty, and feel the wind of change on my face.
I am no longer that naïve child who would have gotten into the barrel and surely fallen down the waterfall if left unsupervised.
Love has given that child wings, and now she is ready to fly.
Lots of Love,
Inspired to live a life of More Than Existing™